A moment of reflection

It’s true that I don’t often take the time to think about the good stuff. I know there’s plenty of it. Well, I like to hope there is anyway. I always find a way to highlight everything that goes wrong instead. Thanks negative brain! But there are two little people in my life that I should probably recognise as massive achievements. They do undertake a lot of questionable behaviour at times, but otherwise they’re mostly good kids, when they want to be of course! Admittedly, I’m not always the best mum to be around either. But no one is perfect right?!

It’s no secret I’ve never really been nailing this mum gig. Yes, I am my own worst enemy on that front, but there is a lot of truth to it. Lately I’ve been struggling a bit more than I probably care to admit. Both as a mum and in life in general. I don’t say this because I want everyone to feel sorry for me. In fact, the complete opposite, to show that it’s okay to talk about our failures and weaknesses, even if it doesn’t always paint us in the greatest light. I often talk (and joke) about swearing at my girls. I know, it doesn’t make me the greatest parent and I really should stop it, but as always, it’s easier said than done. Lately, it’s felt even trickier as they have found all the buttons to push. It certainly doesn’t help when they throw the swear words right back at me too. It’s actually kind of funny (occasionally, okay a lot of the time!), but I know I shouldn’t encourage that either! I’ve been reminded I’m supposed to be the parent, but it’s tricky when they absolutely nail the context, haha!

As I continue to navigate my way through this crazy world of parenting, one of the things that it’s getting harder to get used to is their growing independence. That feeling where they no longer need as much of me. Sometimes they still do, other times they don’t. I know it’s all part of growing up, but man it can be a bitter pill to swallow. While they are definitely thriving (I think…I hope?!), I’m still here to provide guidance as best I can, swearing and all!

Look being a parent is no joke (it can be funny though, both for you and the kids), but at the moment I’m sure we can all do with as many laughs as possible. I’m certainly not complaining here, but a few days of home schooling this past week has well and truly shown me that I was never destined to be a teacher, so luckily it’s not the career path I ever wanted. How my best friend and many others like her can manage to keep it together in a classroom full of kids and not lose their you know what, I will never know. I take my hat off to you all. I think I’ll definitely stick with the writing, haha!

I guess despite all my rambling…yes I know I’m very good at it….it’s important to know that it’s okay to not be okay and have bad moments as a parent. We all make mistakes and no one is perfect. If you are or think you are, good luck to you but I’m proud to admit I’m hopeless and clueless at the best of times, but I fumble (yell, swear and all the rest) my way through as best I can. I know I’m never going to be the perfect mum, but to my girls, I can only hope they see me as the best mum they’ll have…ever!