Life sure is different these days.
Both good and bad.
When I became a mother I feel like I said goodbye to a big part of me.
Don’t get me wrong I love being a mum to my two beautiful girls, but I do miss aspects of my pre-baby life.
Aside from the fact I could go to the toilet in peace, I could eat chocolate without having to share, sleep was amazing and going out could be a spur-of-the-moment decision.
And, well…..people used to visit to see us but now it’s really to see the girls.
I can hear you all (well those who visit anyway) saying “but but but…I come to see you too!”
Once again that’s another story.
But after a rough day yesterday where I spent quite some time yelling at my toddler and trying to stop her from killing her sister, I almost feel like giving up.
I honestly felt like the worst mum in the world.
Mummy guilt sure can knock you for six.
I looked out the door and thought about what could be on the other side.
(Freedom!!!! Just kidding!)
But then something magical happened.
I thought about the good stuff like when Miss Izzie hugged and kissed me for no reason and Miss Phoebe gave me one of her gummy big smiles.
And once again things fell into place.
Well after a sneaky piece of chocolate anyway.
Wine would have been better.
Damn this breastfeeding business (haha!).
I’ve never lied about parenting being a hard gig.
There’s no point.
Earlier this week one of my lovely pregnant friends asked if it was hard juggling a toddler and a newborn.
My response was giving birth is easier than dealing with a toddler and a baby right now.
Probably a tad over dramatic (yes I know labour/birth is not easy for everyone) but combining a temperamental toddler with a crying baby doesn’t always result in a good outcome, particularly when daddy is at work!
Especially when it comes to dinner, bath and bedtime!
I mean sitting with a two-year-old for half an hour (or maybe more) while she picks at a small plate of fish fingers, salad and sauce could drive the most sane person crazy!
Who knew eating just sauce constituted a meal?!
But once again I survived, gritted my teeth and kept going.
Because I have to, I’m meant to and two little girls rely on me to make their world keep moving.
And most importantly because……I am mum.