Always asking questions

How do you know if you’re doing it right? This whole parenting thing?
Even life in general?
You don’t! You can only do your best and see what happens after that. It’s pretty much flying blind, winging it, put your beer goggles on and just go with the flow type of stuff. Maybe some structure along the way helps, but the rest of it involves guesswork, a whole lot of trying and hope. I’m always full of hope, whether I get the result I’m hoping for, that’s another story!

If you worry about whether you’re a good mum, the fact that you worry already means you are a good mum. I just wish I’d believed it enough when I really needed to. I’ve always had a lot of doubt about my skills as a mum, probably as a person too. It’s likely this won’t change in a hurry. That has a lot to do with my anxieties talking. But when I get a sweet smile, a kiss on the cheek or even little arms envelope me in a hug, my fears lessen. It’s almost like a magical button has been pushed and the world makes sense again.

My girls, although they drive me crazy, are my whole world and I do feel a bit lost when they aren’t around. They are growing up so fast and time is flying by, bringing with it even more attitude! The karma train hit me hard on that one, giving me two girls to contend with. I wasn’t really that bad, was I mum?! If the attitude is this crazy at the age of 5, I may need some serious backup by the time we hit 15! In all seriousness I know my girls are pretty good (at driving me crazy), but they are reasonably well behaved and I know I could have done far worse.

I think I’ve said it before but I still love this saying. “There is no such thing as a perfect parent”. There so isn’t! So all those people out there acting like they have it all together, just quit while you’re ahead, everyone knows you’re pretending! I often admit I still have absolutely no idea what I’m doing. That doesn’t make me a bad Mum, but I’m far from perfect. Like every other parent out there, I just want what’s best for my girls. I just don’t necessarily always know how to get it. Other than doing my best and that’s all anyone can ask for.

Kids are funny creatures. They know more and perceive more than we realise, especially if they can work it to their advantage. They don’t care about a lot of things, especially all the material stuff. But they care enough to just want you there, to have the person they treasure the most. It’s not always easy to be in the moment when they need you to be and it’s hard not to feel guilty afterwards. But remembering you are only human can go a long way to making you feel better, well hopefully it does. I don’t have all the answers but I keep trying to do my best (at failing, haha!).

One step at a time

I want to do it. Can I do it? What are you doing? What’s that? Can I help? It’s all about helping mummy these days, which I love. Except when nine times out of ten it would be much quicker to do it myself. But it’s hard to say no to a very determined young lady, especially when she’s already moving furniture to get a better position to start helping. And who am I to say no?!

Miss Izzie is very much bustling with questions these days too. Who are those people? Where are they going? What is that? And a lot of these questions are often followed by why? I do my best to answer but it seems my answers aren’t always enough and the questions keep coming. It’s hard not to get frustrated and I feel a sense of compassion for what I must have put my mum through back in the day. Sometimes changing the subject or even mentioning food often works well in my favour (haha!), that is until the questions start firing again. Whyyyyyyyy???!!!

And the attitude has intensified ten fold. Who would have thought a three-year-old would have so much to say about everything, but especially when it doesn’t go her own way. Many would say she’s taking after her mother already, haha! We even played the fun copy exactly what mummy says “game” over dinner the other night. I did my best to keep a straight face but I must admit it was a bit hard not to laugh, especially when the giggles started because she knew it was annoying me. They always know!

And as always the fun doesn’t end with my eldest cheeky monkey. Her younger sister is growing fast and also making her feelings well known if she doesn’t get her own way, especially if her older sister is involved. There are plenty of squabbles over toys, hair pulling, screaming and of course tears, not always from the one you would expect either. There are still many more years of this fun to come.

But what I’m loving most about interacting with Miss Phoebe right now is her beautiful (although cheeky) smile, her infectious giggles, her bubbly chattering and most of all her kisses and cuddles, especially when she wraps her arms around my neck. In saying all that, I still think she may have a bit of a rebellious nature that could lead to some interesting times ahead. If you find me curled up in the corner, it might be too late, haha!

There are some days I wish we were past the awkward phases and other days I want them to stay little forever. Despite their argumentative moments, the girls get along really well and can often be quite cute. Or is that just to lull me into a false sense of security?! Hmmmmm……
But they do look out for each other, shower each other in hugs and kisses and are usually happy to see each other at the start of every day. It makes me smile watching their faces light up at the sight of each other! It’s moments like those that make the world okay again.

It’s funny how often we forget about the good things when we’re surrounded by the bad. But kids don’t know any different. As long as they have their favourite toy or clothes or food, they are thankfully pretty content. I find a chocolatey treat goes a long way too!

They may have turned my world upside down and inside out but life sure is pretty awesome with my girls. Just don’t ask me what I really think if it’s a day that isn’t going so well….

Feeling the pressure

When are you having the next one?

And by that I mean a baby of course.

Although if someone asked when I was having the next piece of chocolate, there would be none left by the time they finished the sentence.

But in all seriousness…..It seems to be a popular question for me these days (asking about the next baby I mean).

Our darling daughter is just a couple of months off being one-and-a-half and I would love nothing more than to give her a sibling.

But I don’t get what everyone else is in such a hurry for.

Yes I know I’m not getting any younger. The changing colour of my hair, cracking bones and worry lines already tell me that.

I’ve found it’s all somewhat quite a vicious cycle.

One minute you’re engaged and being asked when you’re getting married.

You tie the knot and the baby questions start flying.

No sooner do you hear the pitter patter of tiny feet and everyone’s wondering where the next one is.

Yeah yeah I know that’s life.

Oh the irony.

I know I can’t talk, I’m guilty of asking friends the same questions.

But it’s not quite the same as having it come back at you rapid fire style.

It’s got me thinking, what do people ask about once you’ve finished having kids?

How’s the weather?

Must get a bit boring….

Life is a funny circle of events and we wouldn’t be human without a constant need to know about other people’s lives.

Again I know I can’t talk, I’ve been asking lots of questions since I was little.
It was a skill that came in quite handy working as a journalist.

But I think there’s some topics that require a little….shall we say….tact.

You know, remove your foot from your mouth before you speak.

I’m sure, no matter what, the baby question will still remain a popular topic for the foreseeable future.

Don’t worry, whenever we decide to add to our little family, I’m sure you’ll be the first (or last) to know.

Now pass me the chocolate….