Always asking questions

How do you know if you’re doing it right? This whole parenting thing?
Even life in general?
You don’t! You can only do your best and see what happens after that. It’s pretty much flying blind, winging it, put your beer goggles on and just go with the flow type of stuff. Maybe some structure along the way helps, but the rest of it involves guesswork, a whole lot of trying and hope. I’m always full of hope, whether I get the result I’m hoping for, that’s another story!

If you worry about whether you’re a good mum, the fact that you worry already means you are a good mum. I just wish I’d believed it enough when I really needed to. I’ve always had a lot of doubt about my skills as a mum, probably as a person too. It’s likely this won’t change in a hurry. That has a lot to do with my anxieties talking. But when I get a sweet smile, a kiss on the cheek or even little arms envelope me in a hug, my fears lessen. It’s almost like a magical button has been pushed and the world makes sense again.

My girls, although they drive me crazy, are my whole world and I do feel a bit lost when they aren’t around. They are growing up so fast and time is flying by, bringing with it even more attitude! The karma train hit me hard on that one, giving me two girls to contend with. I wasn’t really that bad, was I mum?! If the attitude is this crazy at the age of 5, I may need some serious backup by the time we hit 15! In all seriousness I know my girls are pretty good (at driving me crazy), but they are reasonably well behaved and I know I could have done far worse.

I think I’ve said it before but I still love this saying. “There is no such thing as a perfect parent”. There so isn’t! So all those people out there acting like they have it all together, just quit while you’re ahead, everyone knows you’re pretending! I often admit I still have absolutely no idea what I’m doing. That doesn’t make me a bad Mum, but I’m far from perfect. Like every other parent out there, I just want what’s best for my girls. I just don’t necessarily always know how to get it. Other than doing my best and that’s all anyone can ask for.

Kids are funny creatures. They know more and perceive more than we realise, especially if they can work it to their advantage. They don’t care about a lot of things, especially all the material stuff. But they care enough to just want you there, to have the person they treasure the most. It’s not always easy to be in the moment when they need you to be and it’s hard not to feel guilty afterwards. But remembering you are only human can go a long way to making you feel better, well hopefully it does. I don’t have all the answers but I keep trying to do my best (at failing, haha!).

The finest moments

I know I’m not the best mother. I’m nowhere near perfect. I don’t ever claim to be. I yell and I scream (who doesn’t?). I probably rant and rave a fair bit too. I sometimes pretend to throw tantrums back at my children too, not necessarily because I think it’s funny or I’m trying to teach them a lesson. But because I’m frustrated by the situation as well.

As parents, yes leading by example can be a good thing. But when you’re tired or your last nerve has been fried, sometimes you just respond rather than react how you should. We are only human too. Our decisions don’t always reflect the best choice but maybe just the only choice at the time. It’s so easy to judge, whether it’s others or yourself. You’ll often find me judging myself, story of my life!

I’m sick of pretending like everything is okay when it’s not. Sure, I can fake smile with the best of them but what’s the point?
I’m tired (who isn’t?), my kids are driving me nuts and at times I’m not sure how much I like them. I’m allowed to say that. It doesn’t mean I don’t love them. It doesn’t mean they aren’t important. It means I’m human and I’m going through the ups and downs of life.

So why do we have to pretend we’re all Supermums? What does that achieve other than setting a fake precedent for the next round of women looking to raise a brood?
Yeah I know, we’re not chickens either but the way kids can carry on sometimes, it’s like being stuck in the middle of a squawking mess. I could use stronger words there but I think you get the idea!

But you are allowed to have bad days. You are allowed to be unhappy and, at times, not actually like your snotty nosed pain in the bum feral children. That doesn’t ever have to mean you don’t want them or love them….well most of the time anyway. Mum Guilt will always haunt you and it will never go away, no matter how old your children are (or so I’m told).

No one is born knowing exactly how to parent, it’s a massive learning curve and I’m happy to admit I’m still winging it every day. Explains a lot really, haha! But as I’ve said many times before my girls are still alive, so I must be doing something right! At least I try to remember that when I’m having “one of those days”, which is almost every other day some weeks. I know my girls being little will be over before I know it (thanks mum) but will the attitude ever end??!!

Learning the ropes

“No.”

“Not yet.”

“I don’t want to.”

“Coz Mummy.”

“I’m a big girl.”

Yep defiance is strong in my baby girl. I wonder where she gets it from?! Haha, who am I kidding?!! Miss Phoebe is one strong willed and very independent young lady and very much like her mummy already. Well, to be fair, both my girls can be a lot like me. There’s nothing wrong with that, on a good day that is! Don’t ask me on a bad day. On a bad day I’m not even sure they’re my children, hahahaha!

It’s a different experience, watching their little personalities shine through as they turn into a little person. I never thought it would go this quick. One minute they were my little babies and now they’re forging their own paths in the world. Okay, so maybe I’m jumping ahead a little bit, they are only two and four after all, but it has, so far, gone very quickly.

In saying that, I do spend a lot of time butting heads and feeling like I’m going nowhere. My girls certainly have a lot of sass. I’m not going to lie, I’m very proud of their ability to stand up for themselves. It just doesn’t work when Mummy is trying to make a point where they should be eating, or not giving me so much attitude. You really can’t win and I’m finding raising girls certainly comes with a lot of challenges. I am terrified of what lies ahead in the next 10 to 15 years, plenty of screaming matches to come, no doubt!

It begs the question, how do you teach them to channel the cheeky/defiant/whatever you want to call it really, attitude into something that isn’t going to leave you banging your head against the proverbial wall? Or am I just doomed? Karma maybe for all the “fun” I put my mum through?

I still find it funny that no matter how much trouble they get up to or get in, they always want hugs from mummy in the end. They might be cranky or sulking in the corner, but you can pull a funny face or tickle them until fits of giggles ensue and it’s game over once again (sometimes mummy does win, haha!)! I knew life with kids would never be easy, but some days are downright challenging and exhausting, especially with my two little bundles of attitude riddled never-ending energy.

I don’t ever want to wish the time away, especially when I keep saying how quickly it’s going, but there are times I can’t wait to get past some stages. Defiance I know won’t disappear overnight (or possibly ever!), attitude, well that really speaks for itself, thinking mummy is the best can only last for five minutes at a time and the rest just goes in waves. I know that despite feeling overwhelmed and quite often like I’m failing and flailing, I just have to try and learn from it all and keep smiling. Yeah yeah, I know, easier said than done! And maybe, just maybe, one day I might take some of my own advice. Yep, I can hear the laughter ringing in my own ears, haha!

Until next time….

Like mother, like daughters

My mini me’s have been at it again.

What now? Oh, just the usual for a four-year-old full of attitude and her cheeky two-year-old sister who likes to copy everything she can. I’ve been told “no” and “don’t you dare mummy” more times than I dare to count. I’ve also been huffed and grunted at, had eyes rolled at me, watched feet stomping and hands on hips in defiance and above all else ignored on a regular basis. It’s all pretty much an every day occurrence. Ahhhhh, kids. You love them because that’s just who you are as mummy and what you do. But there are times, when you don’t have to like them!

And there are plenty of things that I don’t like, but I’m pretty much just a passenger on this journey most days. It doesn’t matter what I say or do, I can be pretty much invisible. Well, until I have something they want or suggest we go do something and then I become their most favourite person on the planet. I already am anyway (haha!) but it’s always nice to be loved when they want something!

One thing I’m noticing more as the girls get older is they don’t forget, especially if they have been promised something. Once upon a time you could tell them we’d do it later and hope they would forget. Not anymore. If they have been promised a treat for being good, they’ll hold you to it. I just have to be mindful only to offer up a reward that’s definitely achievable, or maybe I should go for something out of their reach…insert evil laugh here. Nah I’m not that mean. I find a little bit of encouragement can go a long way with my two cherubs, especially if chocolate is on offer. The apple certainly didn’t fall far from the tree on that one!

One thing’s for sure, my babies are growing up fast. Sometimes it feels a little too fast. Next week my big girl starts kindy (eeeek!) and my “baby” will be off to try the world of daycare for one day a week. I’m not even worried at all. The girls are pretty excited, especially knowing they’ll be across the hallway from each other. It’s funny how they almost kill each other at home but I think being at the same centre for kindy and daycare and when the time comes, at school together, they’ll always have each other’s backs. I’ve said many times before, those two share a special bond, one only they can understand. It always makes me smile knowing they have each other, no matter what.

Even though they’re getting bigger by the day, there are also times I reminded just how little and impressionable they are. That is until one of them blows a raspberry in my face or better yet, farts. But despite all the tantrums and carry on we definitely have a lot of fun, laughter and good times. Like most people, I do enjoy a bit of “me time” but after awhile I miss my babies and their infectious giggles, it’s a sound that just melts my heart. Plus, I have to admit their cuddles are the best!

Until next time, keep smiling and remember even on a bad day, you have got this!

Looks do(n’t) matter

I feel like I’ve gone wrong somewhere.
But I’m stumped as to where, who, what or when it began! Don’t even get me started on why!

It’s early morning on any given day in our house and it’s time to get the girls dressed.
One child done (usually the youngest Miss Phoebe of course) and one to go, simple right?! Just grab some clothes, dress her and we’re done.
Nope not even close.
I wish that was the case.

An easy pick of a shirt and shorts aren’t good enough for Miss Izzie anymore because apparently it means “I’m not pretty”. What the hell?!
I kid you not, she has thrown tantrums because of wearing shorts. It’s to the point of almost world ending, all over a small portion of material.

It would seem we (in the form of Miss Izzie) need to be wearing a skirt or dress to be deemed pretty. I don’t even know where this idea has come from.

So far the only person she mentions about wearing skirts and being pretty is a certain yellow skivvy wearing member of a children’s entertainment group, who of course she wants to be like.
There’s certainly nothing wrong with having an idol and I’m not blaming Emma, but Izzie likes to remind me all the time that Emma is a girl and she wears a skirt, not pants.

Now I’m a shorts wearing kind of girl, comfort is important to me! Plus I love having pockets for the essentials; keys, tissues and phone. I do occasionally wear the odd skirt or dress so I’m definitely not against them!!

And I’m forever telling my girls they are beautiful inside and out, no matter what anyone else tells them.
So this crazy idea about clothing being the one thing that makes Miss Izzie pretty is not coming from me.
Lucky she doesn’t know a lot about make up just yet!

But how do you explain to a three-year-old that it doesn’t matter what you wear? That no one really pays that much attention to your clothes, well at least until you hit the pre-teen years anyway.
And I’m already scared about what could happen then……clothing really is just the start!

Most days I can’t be bothered arguing and just let her wear a skirt….at least she’s wearing clothes right?! But I can’t help thinking, is this the beginning of the end? Or should I remain hopeful (haha!) that this is just another phase on the list of many when it comes to raising children?!
What’s next, maybe she…..no wait I better not jinx myself!

I guess I’ve just gotten used to the fact for the past three-plus years I’ve been able to choose what she wears with very little fuss and it’s been a-maz-ing! Let’s face it, if every child had their way, fashion for kids would have a very different take on it. Superman undies anyone?! Haha!
But my Little Miss Independent (also known as Mini Me) is growing up fast and her crazy attitude is kicking up a gear all the time, I wonder where on Earth she gets it from…

**On another note….I’d like to wish you and your family a very Merry Christmas!
Thank you so much for your support throughout the year.
Look out for more fun, excitement and interesting stories in 2017, as always I’m sure my girls will give me plenty to write about!
Until then….eat, drink, be merry and try to be nice if you can! **

Pushing the limits

It’s been a crazy few days in our house.

Okay maybe more like a crazy few weeks!

I’d really like to use a stronger word than crazy but let’s just keep it PG rated for now.

I’ve lost my shit more than once and I’m not proud of it!

But sometimes counting to 10 just doesn’t cut it, especially when it comes to dealing with a temperamental toddler!

Yes, usually Miss Izzie is a pretty good kid, but lately she’s been replaced by a feral child.

Okay a little harsh, but in the moments I’m pulling my hair out, I think “feral” is probably a nice word for it!

She’s almost like the rhyme about the little girl with a curl in the middle of her forehead.

And yes believe me she can be horrid!

Terrible twos isn’t just a fancy term thrown out there for fun.

It’s like they know exactly when to flick the switch and go from being a darling child to a terror in the blink of an eye.

Is it some kind of test, that we as parents of toddlers must pass when they’re at the age of two to see if we can continue the fun of parenting?

Well I know you certainly can’t quit.

I often joke with my amazing mum about the fact my brother and I are still alive and wonder how she coped.

Most of the time she laughs, shrugs and says she just did because there was no other option.

Before you strike up the violins….I’m not silly, I knew what I was getting myself into by having children.

But I didn’t think I’d be looking in the mirror on a daily basis and dealing with a mini me.

Yes I’m under no illusion that Miss Izzie is a mini version of her mother, with quite the fiery temper already.

I’m sure my parents are secretly laughing at the thought of what still lies ahead.

I’ve got a long way to go yet but I’m already dreading the teenage years, especially with two girls to deal with!

I remember when I was in my late teens (sooooo long ago!!) saying sorry so many times to my mum.

Apparently I wasn’t really that bad but I definitely had my moments!

I wonder if I’ll see a little bit of history repeating?!

Well they say the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

Let’s just hope one of the girls inherits daddy’s temperament….