I know I’m not the best mother. I’m nowhere near perfect. I don’t ever claim to be. I yell and I scream (who doesn’t?). I probably rant and rave a fair bit too. I sometimes pretend to throw tantrums back at my children too, not necessarily because I think it’s funny or I’m trying to teach them a lesson. But because I’m frustrated by the situation as well.
As parents, yes leading by example can be a good thing. But when you’re tired or your last nerve has been fried, sometimes you just respond rather than react how you should. We are only human too. Our decisions don’t always reflect the best choice but maybe just the only choice at the time. It’s so easy to judge, whether it’s others or yourself. You’ll often find me judging myself, story of my life!
I’m sick of pretending like everything is okay when it’s not. Sure, I can fake smile with the best of them but what’s the point?
I’m tired (who isn’t?), my kids are driving me nuts and at times I’m not sure how much I like them. I’m allowed to say that. It doesn’t mean I don’t love them. It doesn’t mean they aren’t important. It means I’m human and I’m going through the ups and downs of life.
So why do we have to pretend we’re all Supermums? What does that achieve other than setting a fake precedent for the next round of women looking to raise a brood?
Yeah I know, we’re not chickens either but the way kids can carry on sometimes, it’s like being stuck in the middle of a squawking mess. I could use stronger words there but I think you get the idea!
But you are allowed to have bad days. You are allowed to be unhappy and, at times, not actually like your snotty nosed pain in the bum feral children. That doesn’t ever have to mean you don’t want them or love them….well most of the time anyway. Mum Guilt will always haunt you and it will never go away, no matter how old your children are (or so I’m told).
No one is born knowing exactly how to parent, it’s a massive learning curve and I’m happy to admit I’m still winging it every day. Explains a lot really, haha! But as I’ve said many times before my girls are still alive, so I must be doing something right! At least I try to remember that when I’m having “one of those days”, which is almost every other day some weeks. I know my girls being little will be over before I know it (thanks mum) but will the attitude ever end??!!
You have to love the lies we tell ourselves about our own children. Before they’re born and you see a friend’s offspring or a kid at the shops throwing a ridiculous tantrum over nothing you say, ‘oh my child won’t do that’. After they’re born and you’re still stuck in that newborn haze, you can’t help but think ‘everything will be perfect and work in my favour, my baby is and will be nothing like those other kids’. But the truth is you really don’t know what will happen until you’re living it. Living the dream or actually realising you were acting like a completely smug you know what until reality (your children) smacks you in the face.
We have our good days and our bad. The times we’re really happy or bawling our eyes out. Life with children is no walk in the park. So why should we treat it that way?! Why should we pretend everything is perfect when in reality it isn’t? Well I think it has a lot to do with a preconceived notion that we have to show that we have a handle on everything and we can do just about anything.
Mums are pretty good at doing most things, most of the time (we like to think so or at least hope) but we really can’t have it all. I’m about as far from perfect as you can get, I’ve always been happy to admit that and I have no shame in saying that I have struggled and even now I still have extremely tough days and nights too. I yell when my girls go feral and yes, I have been known to swear (shock horror) at them as well. Every now and then I still have the thought that running away might be easier than dealing with a child whose sister has looked at them at the wrong way/taking a toy or even touched them. I think it’s safe to say I won’t be winning Mother of the Year anytime soon.
And seriously I’d still like to have words with whoever put the silly idea in Miss Izzie’s head that she can’t possibly wear anything other than dresses. Every. Single. Day. We have a drawer full of shorts and plenty of pretty shirts hanging in the cupboard, but it seems they aren’t good enough even with Elsa’s perfect blonde hair and beaming smile plastered on them. It’s an ongoing battle, one I should probably just let go of (see what I did there). Can you sense my frustration? Haha! I guess I’ve never found myself much of a girly girl. Shorts and a top are my comfort zone. So, dealing with a little princess sure can be challenging, to say the least.
I have hope. Yes, I’m hopeful that Miss Phoebe may be less of a handful. Who am I kidding? That kid is already the devil in disguise, getting her big sister into trouble or upsetting her every chance she can. It makes me laugh though because I’m pretty sure I did the same thing for my big brother. Correction I was the best little sister ever (cough cough).
At the end of the day it shouldn’t be about who has a better handle on things, who’s winning or losing in this epic battle of parenting. It’s really about surviving and showing your kids you love them even when they’re driving you up the wall. Expect the worst, hope for the best and always keep a stash of wine and chocolate somewhere handy!