Tick, tick, tick….cross

I didn’t sign up for any of this. The drama. The tantrums. The sassy attitude. The back chatting. And even the hitting. Not just each, but I’ve been known to cop a toy or even a limb to the face/head. Nope I didn’t sign up for that. None of it. Geez, I wonder where they get some of it from?! Haha! One day you’re staring into the eyes of a cute little baby and then it’s like someone hits the fast forward button and a little terror takes their place. I am, of course, speaking so fondly of my two little psycho….I mean cherubs! They are just the best .

What is it that makes kids just go round the bend? I don’t mean a little bit silly, but absolutely bonkers, to the point I swear they’re going to literally crash and burn. Well, it feels like I crash and burn and they just bounce back and do it all again. And again. And again. It’s on a repeat loop, most days. One minute they’re casually hanging out and being nice to each other and then it’s on for young and old. It’s funny (but not in a haha way) how quickly they turn on each other. Part of me is a little bit proud when my youngest daughter sticks it to her big sister who has been purposely antagonising her. But then I have to deal with the snotty crying that follows, usually from both of them.

I’ve been told so many times that my older brother and I were exactly the same. But surely we weren’t that bad? I remember us being more like sweet angels, right big bro?! Hahaha! I’m sure our parents, well all parents really, would find that statement hilarious. Unless you do have an angelic child, who does absolutely no wrong. They can’t possibly exist but all power to you, if that’s what you believe!

On so many levels I love them like there’s no tomorrow and I want to bottle up their sweetness. Five seconds into a bickering battle (usually for the tenth time in a day) and my brain quickly reminds me to snap into yelling mum mode. Whyyyyyyyy???! How can someone so cute and sweet one minute turn into a demon the next? I suppose some might say we women are very much the same, haha!

There’s always so many ups and then many, many, many downs when it comes to kids. There’s always drama, even over the smallest things. Outside play can sometimes last two seconds if there’s an insect that gets in the way of a fun game. And if someone stacks it on a bike or scooter, it’s all over, even if there’s no blood! But even as I type this, I can hear them playing so nicely together and all I can think about is how long until someone cops a barbie to the head or there’s yelling or tears for some unknown reason. It’s true that I often like to say “never a dull moment around here” but surely every now then it’s not too much to ask for?! Lucky I do love them, right?

One foot in front of the other

“Mummy. Mummmmmyyyyy. “Mummmmmm. Watch this!
“MUMMY!
“Why?? Why Mummy? Why????????”

Ever feel like the walls are starting to close in on you?
My favourite saying when it comes to motherhood is “never a dull moment”.
Oh how true it really is!

My girls are forever keeping me on my toes.
Whether it’s constantly yelling for my attention even when I’m already looking at them or deciding to start an argument over a silly toy (when don’t they?!) it just goes on and on.

But no matter what is going on I just feel like there’s never enough time. We just get over one hurdle and are facing another. I spend time with both girls but then I’m faced with the one-on-one dilemma. If I could split myself in half I’d be the best mum ever!

It’s always when you feel you’re getting a handle on things that mum guilt throws you back another ten paces. And mum guilt is a bitch!

It doesn’t matter whether you’re a working mum, a stay-at-home mum, a part-time or full-time mum, however you fill the role, those little monsters…..I mean darling children….know how to make you feel all the feels.

You can spend all the time in the world with them and it might never be enough in their eyes or yours. But know that no matter what you do someone will deem it not enough. But who cares what anyone else thinks?! What matters, or really what should matter, is what you think and you really should give yourself more credit as a mumma!

I know I can’t talk, I’m my own worst enemy, I always have been! And it certainly doesn’t help when Miss Izzie or Miss Phoebe turn the sad eyes on me when I say no for what feels like the millionth time. Ahhhhh it’s a vicious cycle this mum guilt and I imagine it’s not going to disappear anytime soon!

They can take you to the highest of highs and make you proud as punch with beautiful manners, big achievements and cute smiles but things can go pear shaped in the blink of an eye and you find yourself acting as umpire in an impending battle of wills.

But what really warms my heart and brings a smile to my face (other than to see them peacefully sleeping) is when they genuinely get along. It’s amazing to watch them kiss, cuddle and giggle together. I know it’s not going to last forever but I’ll take it while I can get it!

And I guess even though no matter how much time you have, it may never feel like enough and mum guilt will always haunt us, there’s still the best part….unconditional love. Mummy is always their safe place, their warm arms and their go-to spot to make everything better when their little world is turning upside down and there are tears everywhere. And above all else my favourite words are still “I love you Mummy”……

Timing isn’t always everything

Is there ever a good time in life to do anything??
Or do you keep waiting for the “right” time?

Life is a roller coaster of highly anticipated events.
From the moment you’re born, you go through your multitude of first achievements, head off to school, maybe study further and then launch yourself into a job/career/life path.

But if that isn’t enough, your personal life has its own roll of events.

Lots of questions are thrown at you from all those near and dear.
Have you got someone special in your life?
If you have been together for a long time, it’s when will you get engaged??
Once you’re engaged when will you get married?
Once married, it’s the dreaded inevitable question everyone is asked: when are you having kids?

Once you pop out the first one, when are you going to have another one??
Then repeat if there is the prospect of any more rug rats.

And so on and so on.

So you’re probably wondering where I’m going with this (hopefully you’re still reading)….

As always it is related to my beautiful girls, because let’s face it without them, I’m not sure what I’d write about.

They fill my life with lots of fun, drama, chaos, giggles and so much more.

I became a first time mum at 29 and looking back I think I still didn’t feel quite ready.
Hell I’m a mum of two at 32 and there are days I still have no idea what I’m doing.
Like most other mums I’m just fumbling through trying to make it look like I have a grip on things.

It’s not easy raising little humans. I don’t think it matters how much you (try to) prepare yourself for life as a parent, it’s still one of those things in life full of the unknown.

No parent is perfect and neither are their children, good luck to you if you think otherwise!

I’m far from being an expert but I’ve certainly got a small grasp on a few things in the (nearly) three years I’ve been known as “Mummy”.

Well I’m guessing I’ve done at least one or two things right because the girls are still alive (haha!).

Some advice/musings/general ramblings:
-Parenting is hard work and life altering! Like most things in life there really is no ideal time to have children, but they will change your life in good and bad ways.

– It is not quite the same as having a pet, although some days I’m not so sure….

-There is a difference to having a child full time and looking after someone else’s before you have your own.
If we could all try before we buy, it might be a different story (just kidding!).

-Kids will gang up on you, they sense fear and vulnerability! They know when you’re having a shit day and they don’t care so you really have to put on your big girl panties and keep going.

-Toddlers have serious attitude, they will make you question your every move. And yes they will push you to breaking point.
But it’s always great to remind them that you still have all the control over their toys, food and anything fun, some might just call it bribery.

But once again try to remember that when it comes to kids time will fly by. So hold on tight because they do grow way too fast.
Enjoy every kiss, cuddle, whisper and unconditional love like there is no tomorrow but always be prepared for the twists and turns that come hand in hand with raising mini versions of yourself.

And while they never hear the rules you make, you can bet they always remember the promises!!