Guilty as charged

I love my girls.

They (and my husband) are my world.

But sometimes I just need a little space.

To save me from going bat shit crazy, to put it bluntly.

Yes my friends, this mum guilt we often hear about is very much a real thing in all its glory.

The guilt path is one that takes many forms.

When you have one child, you wonder if you’re doing enough for them and feel like you have forgotten the rest of the world.

When a second offspring enters the ring you feel bad the first child has lost your attention, let alone anyone else in your life.

I’m not even going to ponder the prospect of what it’s like with more kids….

And it doesn’t end there.

Once you find your rhythm again, the power of the mummy brain coerces you to get back to a normal life.

But why do we feel guilty about taking some time for ourselves?

Let’s face it I can barely take a shower or pee in peace without hearing “mummy” echoing off the walls.

So when an opportunity for freedom presents itself, my mind starts to do crazy flips of reasons why I shouldn’t go.

I have no problem physically walking away from the girls.

In fact more often than not I’m halfway out the door ready to yell “freedom” banshee style.

But I always have this fleeting thought about the person who’s left with the girls and what they might be missing out on.

It’s funny how as Mums (and yes sometimes dads too) we put ourselves last.

It’s some kind of built-in mechanism that switches on the very second a little person comes crashing into your life.

I often joke that I’m no longer Sheree, I’m Izzie and Phoebe’s mummy.

The old Sheree left the building and was replaced by someone who is now responsible for two tiny humans.

I’m not delusional.

I’m well aware life is different these days.

No more spur-of-the-moment dinner dates with friends (well not at a restaurant anyway), no random late night drives to get ice cream (except to eat at home) and definitely no big drinking sessions.

Who am I kidding I never really did the last one anyway, haha!

But I’m really starting to learn that even as a mum (or dad) it’s important to still do things for ourselves.

So yes it has taken me a couple of years to come to this conclusion but better late than never right?!

I’m off to do something for myself….but what about…..oh never mind (haha!).

A path widely travelled

Children really do change your life.

It’s not necessarily a bad thing, just different.

Gone are the days (or rather nights) of staying out until all hours drinking with mates.

Instead you wonder what time you might be woken up in the middle of the night, or if you have a newborn, you might not remember what sleep is!

Sleep ins don’t exactly exist anymore or rather what you perceive as a sleep in takes on a whole new meaning.

Saturday night plans usually involve a good book, TV remote or falling asleep on the lounge.

Catching up with friends quickly becomes a daytime activity and usually involves someone’s house or somewhere outdoors.

A trip to the toilet usually involves a chorus of “mummy, mummy, mummy” from outside the door (if you do make it in there on your own to start with).

And having a shower suddenly becomes a shared activity.

Leaving the house is no longer as simple as grabbing your wallet and keys, unless you’re fortunate enough to make a quick trip to the shops on your own.

And my daily TV viewing doesn’t stretch much past the tune of “There’s a bear in there….”

Don’t get me wrong I love being a mum.

So much so, I’m gearing up for round two to start soon.

But I do often miss aspects of my life, which now looking back, really weren’t as hard as I thought at the time.

Carefree days have now become packed full of tiny person fun (well most of the time).

They can also be full of tantrums, spilt milk and cries for bikkies.

I find now that apart from nap time, my days are busy from first thing to lights out.

There’s always something to do.

Washing, cleaning, cooking, playing and of course I can’t forget about writing.

But a big chunk of the time I usually have a little helper in tow too!

And this is all probably happening in many other houses out there.

Good days can make you feel like you have a handle on things and then a bad day can make you feel like the worst parent in the world.

But there’s nothing more reassuring than overhearing or talking to someone else who is going through the same drama or dilemma.

Or better yet (for you of course) a situation even worse than your own!

Children will make you smile, cry, laugh and fall in a heap on the floor like you’re broken.

But it can’t be all bad because we seem to like repeating the process, again and again……

Maybe it’s that reassuring thought that one day we get to sit back, watch and laugh (nicely of course), much like our own parents do now.

Or maybe it’s because, thanks to the wonders of digital technology, we’ve got plenty of bribery up our sleeves to use for years to come!

Just remember when you feel you’re being pushed to the limit, tomorrow is another day…