Living the life of Mum

“Mummy you’re a bum bum face.”
“Mummy you have a big bum.”
“Mummy you’re silly.”
“Mummy I don’t like you anymore.”
“Mummy Mummy Mummy….”
“Mummy I love you.”

Out of the lot I definitely prefer the last one. Not sure I hear it as much as I’d like but I’ll take it when I can.
Kids have no filter. If they want to say something, they will.
It doesn’t matter if it hurts your feelings or not. You have to sort of pretend it doesn’t even if you want to cry big ugly tears. Or sometimes I may just say a few things back to my “lovely” daughters. Not exactly the most adult thing to do, but if you can’t beat them, join them right?!

When I became a mum, my whole world changed.
Everything I thought I knew was turned upside down.
I was catapulted into the unknown, a scary place for me, especially when I’m used to having some sort of control over things in my life.

But motherhood was a role I took on with the same strength and attitude I do with most things in my life, head on.
Did I fail?
Multiple times. Actually more times than I want to remember.
Do I still fail?
Hell all the time.
But I pick myself up and continue.
There’s two beautiful girls relying on mummy to give them the direction they need in life.
Whether it’s the right or wrong direction remains to be seen, but I’m doing the best I can.

There are days when I feel I can’t do this. And there are days where I’m winning at being a mum (there’s bribery involved of course, haha). I’ve accepted that it’s definitely not easy, take all the help you can – even if you don’t want to and try to keep smiling even when your children are being feral. It doesn’t always work.

I still yell, get annoyed and angry when they don’t listen and then I feel guilty for not being a happy mummy. As mums, we put so much pressure on ourselves to live up to this expectation of being the best mum ever. It’s unrealistic, yet we constantly beat ourselves up over silly little things. I do it all the time. And I have no doubt I will continue to do it for years to come.

My girls are beautiful bundles of endless energy. They run me off my feet. Their attitudes are a little bit at the “already killing me” stage and I know I’ve still got plenty more fun ahead of me. But I would be lost without them. As much as they drive me crazy I’m glad they chose me to be their mum (yeah I did get a tear in my eye).

On that note, I’d like to wish all the mums, mums-to-be, my beautiful and amazing mum and everyone else who fills the role in some way, a very Happy Mother’s Day for this Sunday.
Enjoy being spoilt (if you’re lucky) because if you aren’t already doing all the usual “Mum” things, you will be again the next day!

A different tone

Sometimes I have to remind myself who I am.

I’m more than just a wife.

I’m more than just a mother.

Somewhere along the way I might have lost myself a bit.

Yes becoming a wife and mum was and is a massive part of my life.

But it’s not the be all and end all of who I am.

It took sitting down to watch the movies that followed my favourite television series (Sex and the City) to trigger a spark.

She might be a fictional character but I always found I could relate to the writer’s side of Carrie Bradshaw.

Maybe that’s a big part of why I became a writer in the first place.

Pure coincidence the show just happened to start the same year I thought about venturing into the world of the written word.

Writing for me is a big part of who I am and I guess it has helped shaped my life.

Admittedly if you’d asked me all those years ago if I imagined where I’d be today, I honestly couldn’t have pictured it.

That’s not to say I didn’t have goals or dreams.

But it has been thanks to the beauty of the written word that I have been able to explore a different side of myself.

It has allowed me to contribute to the media through community news, write the occasional verse or two for friends and of course now my latest venture of blogging.

I often hear from others “I couldn’t put words together like that”.

There are many days I find I can’t do it either.

But if I find a topic I’m passionate about, the words start flowing easily.

It also helps that people often seem to enjoy what I’ve written.

Without my writing I think I’d lose a little piece of my sanity.

It’s my chance to escape, to express myself and I guess to also entertain.

It’s also my opportunity to leave a little imprint of myself within the world and I hope somehow it makes a difference!

Never lose sight of yourself if you can help it.

Someone else will always be willing to step on your toes!

Until inspiration hits me again….