Preparing for battle

It’s amazing how quickly kids get bored when they are forced to stay at home. They do have a million toys to play with (especially when we’ve just had Christmas) and books to read, shows to watch and access to a pretty decent yard with swings, a trampoline and a swimming pool. But no, out come those two little words that makes parents sigh inside and out every time, “I’m bored”. How?! How can you be so bored when you have so much you can do?!

Apparently things are more fun when we leave the house. I beg to differ. Things are more “fun” if I leave the house on my own. Well, they’re definitely easier anyway. I remember the days when all I needed was my keys, wallet and phone and I headed out the door. Now, I have to make sure everyone has been to the toilet (myself included) that everyone has shoes on and to keep the peace that my girls have something for the car trip, even if it’s only 5 minutes! Not to mention making sure we at least have some water as someone always ends up thirsty! Insert eye roll here.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my girls. But…there’s always a but, isn’t there? But sometimes (here’s a shocker!), they drive me crazy. I could use stronger words, of course. No matter what, they still come back to me again and again and again, so I can’t be the “worst mother ever” like I’ve heard muttered a few times. I know I have my moments. Who doesn’t?!

Each day seems to start off so well. It’s like the universe wants to lull me into a false sense of security. My girls are so nice and sweet. I really should know by now, it won’t last. It never does. Sometimes the peace can last for an hour but some days, it’s lucky if it’s five minutes. I know if I’ve already used an f-bomb in less than five minutes of waking ups, the rest of the day isn’t looking so good.

I know one day I’ll miss the craziness, the noise, the yelling over silly stuff and generally all-round the relatively easy stage that we’re currently in. I know I should lap up every moment and enjoy it all. It’s not always that simple. I’m human too. I have ups and downs and I’m allowed to not like what’s happening in front of me. I’m allowed to not want to be mummy for five minutes. I don’t want to skip ahead and miss things but sometimes it would be nice to fast forward through all the bad stuff!

Soon, my babies won’t be so little anymore. They’re already 5 and 7 going on 21 some days! I often wonder what happened to my teeny babies with the two little (almost giant) people standing in their place. I miss some aspects of the baby/toddler years and there is plenty I don’t miss – nappies, teething and floor thumping tantrums, just to name a few. In just two short weeks, another chapter begins with my baby starting school. I’m so excited to see what she can achieve but I’m also a little sad as I no longer have my weekday lunch/shopping buddy anymore. It’s all come around very quickly, I kept thinking it was still ages away. Time really does fly and you can’t stop it or slow it down. While the days and nights feel like forever sometimes, the weeks, months and years are much shorter than we think. Take it all in but don’t forget you are allowed to have your moment of weakness, just don’t let the kids see it or all hell breaks loose!

**On a side note and just for a bit of self-promotion, I also write for 2 other avenues. You can check out more of my writing at:

Feature Magazine

My Child Magazine

Sass is the new direction

I know my parents often tell me I had extremely cheeky moments as a child and I could be quite the devil at times, but I’m starting to think that karma is screwing me over. Hell hath no fury like a child scorned, well two of them in fact and both girls as well, scored the double whammy on that one! Meanwhile, I think mum and dad are sitting back quietly laughing to themselves while I face palm at every given opportunity.

No matter what I try – silence, yelling, ignoring, bribery – the end result is often the same, I lose, I always lose. Well, technically not every single time but a lot of the time anyway and I’m always hopeful that one day I’ll get my own back. Until then, you can find me quietly rocking in the corner, haha!

Seriously, where did my children come from? Yeah I know the obvious scientific answer, but as for the rest I’m starting to think maybe they were abducted by aliens at some point and returned with different DNA. Okay, so maybe not quite that bad but some days I could crawl under a rock and just stay there!

When my girls are good, they are really really good, but when they are bad, I pretend to disown them. It’s difficult given that Miss Izzie has similarities to me (so much sass and don’t get me started on the attitude of a 5-year-old) and Miss Phoebe looks exactly like I did 30 years ago and like a mini version of me now (or so I’m told!), so I can’t really deny they are mine. Not that I really want to, just more so when they are fraying at my last nerve, so maybe every other day?! I know from talking to other parents I’m definitely not alone, which is mildly reassuring…I think! And yes mum, I know you have told me you went through all this too….but you know living in the current moment always feels worse, haha!

I think it’s always on reflection that it’s the little things you know you’re going to miss the most. The squishy cheeked hugs and kisses, the constant whiny and whinging call of “Mummy”, then asking to be picked up or to hold their hand or even when they whack you in their sleep after crawling into your bed in the middle of the night. At the time they bug you and ask so much of you but you know that one day it will stop and they won’t ask again. That one day will be the last time and you may not realise it. All this has been playing on my mind lately and even brings a tear to my eye that it may not be long until some of it stops. You can’t wait for them to finally gain independence but once they do, you miss them wanting your help. Good old mum guilt strikes again.

You never want to miss anything they do, especially if it’s a first, but sometimes they can also be too much, just another dose of mum guilt there too. Does it ever go away?! I guess that’s all part of the “fun” too. Just like being thrown up on at 1am . But I have to keep reminding myself to let them be little as long as I can stand the tantrums and tiaras (and other things being thrown at me) because it’ll be over before I know it!

One foot in front of the other

“Mummy. Mummmmmyyyyy. “Mummmmmm. Watch this!
“Why?? Why Mummy? Why????????”

Ever feel like the walls are starting to close in on you?
My favourite saying when it comes to motherhood is “never a dull moment”.
Oh how true it really is!

My girls are forever keeping me on my toes.
Whether it’s constantly yelling for my attention even when I’m already looking at them or deciding to start an argument over a silly toy (when don’t they?!) it just goes on and on.

But no matter what is going on I just feel like there’s never enough time. We just get over one hurdle and are facing another. I spend time with both girls but then I’m faced with the one-on-one dilemma. If I could split myself in half I’d be the best mum ever!

It’s always when you feel you’re getting a handle on things that mum guilt throws you back another ten paces. And mum guilt is a bitch!

It doesn’t matter whether you’re a working mum, a stay-at-home mum, a part-time or full-time mum, however you fill the role, those little monsters…..I mean darling children….know how to make you feel all the feels.

You can spend all the time in the world with them and it might never be enough in their eyes or yours. But know that no matter what you do someone will deem it not enough. But who cares what anyone else thinks?! What matters, or really what should matter, is what you think and you really should give yourself more credit as a mumma!

I know I can’t talk, I’m my own worst enemy, I always have been! And it certainly doesn’t help when Miss Izzie or Miss Phoebe turn the sad eyes on me when I say no for what feels like the millionth time. Ahhhhh it’s a vicious cycle this mum guilt and I imagine it’s not going to disappear anytime soon!

They can take you to the highest of highs and make you proud as punch with beautiful manners, big achievements and cute smiles but things can go pear shaped in the blink of an eye and you find yourself acting as umpire in an impending battle of wills.

But what really warms my heart and brings a smile to my face (other than to see them peacefully sleeping) is when they genuinely get along. It’s amazing to watch them kiss, cuddle and giggle together. I know it’s not going to last forever but I’ll take it while I can get it!

And I guess even though no matter how much time you have, it may never feel like enough and mum guilt will always haunt us, there’s still the best part….unconditional love. Mummy is always their safe place, their warm arms and their go-to spot to make everything better when their little world is turning upside down and there are tears everywhere. And above all else my favourite words are still “I love you Mummy”……