An ever-changing role

Has being a mother changed me as a person?

You bet it has! I may not be the same person I was a long time ago and pre-kids, but I’m much richer for the person I have become and keep changing into. It’s taken a lot to get to this point. I’ve lost a lot personally (some I’m really glad I did, especially looking back now) and I’ve also gained some more positive influences in my life along the way as well, you all know who you are! I’m not sorry if you don’t like me now, that’s your choice. And if you do like me, good luck to you, haha! I know I have two little ladies or pains-in-the-butt (depending on the day) that think I’m the best person in their world…most of the time…and that’s all that really matters at the end of the day.

We spend so much time trying to live up to this idea of the “perfect mother”. Who and where the hell is she? She doesn’t exist. No, really she doesn’t and I’m happy to argue that point with anyone who’s keen. I’ll admit I’m just as bad as everyone else out there, thinking that I need to be the most perfect mother. To say the right things and make sure my children have everything under the sun, just because. Why? It doesn’t mean they’ll turn out any differently or be any better than any other kid out there. To me, that is probably more about how we interact behind closed doors. I scream, yell and swear when my kids are driving me crazy (who doesn’t??) but I also have a softer side too.

I’m forever telling my girls how much I love them, how beautiful they are, giving them big cuddles and kisses because I want them to know, not only how important they are to me, but also how much they should value themselves and their place in the world. Yeah I know, I should really take some of my own advice, but that never works! When you have kids, you make a bucket load of promises about how different their lives will be and that you won’t have the biggest brats in the world. They certainly have their moments, haha!

I’m constantly worried that I’m screwing their lives up majorly and doing the wrong thing all the time, that I’m the worst mother in the world. My girls reassure me I’m the best mummy ever and it melts my heart. Maybe I’m doing something a little bit right after all. But who can tell? There is no rule book. How I do things for my girls may not work for other mums out there and there is nothing wrong with that. You can parent how you want to and I’m certainly going to keep doing things my way. Whether it works all the time, well, that’s another story. Just when I think I’ve got some kind of handle on things; my girls throw another spanner in the works and I’m back to square one. It certainly keeps life interesting.

Until next time…you’ll find me enjoying plenty of kisses and cuddles with my little munchkins, I know they won’t last forever!