A Sentence of Epic Proportions

“You don’t love me mummy”.
And just like a knife to the heart, I had these words thrown at me recently. Well yelled repeatedly. I could have cried. But for once I kept my cool and stayed calm (miracle, I know!). Because as much as it hurt for my beautiful five-year-old to utter those words, I knew I had to get to the bottom of it while reassuring her it wasn’t the case.

It’s hard convincing kids that what they actually think and feel about something isn’t the case. Because let’s face it, when it comes to children, there is no rationality. Some might say the same thing about women here too, but that’s another story. Kids feel what they feel, know what they know (even when they don’t) and what they say is exactly how things are…even if it’s not. Whether it’s true or not doesn’t matter in their world. It’s hard to remember all that when you’re stuck in the moment and either bordering on losing your mind and/or trying not to cry! Confused? Yep, me too! But I think that’s part of the torture…I mean cycle of parenting!

But you can’t always say they don’t mean it either. Even though the little terrors may not fully understand emotions, they can have a pretty good grasp on words and what context to use them in. Never underestimate the mind or power of children, they can be smarter than we think. And then they’ll go and do something like smack their head on a cabinet or fall off a bed and you do question how much of their brain they actually use! (I’m not calling anyone dumb here, just making a joke, before anyone thinks I’m being a nasty mum!).

When it comes to having kids, throw any rule/advice books or ideas you have about raising kids out the window. Or better yet, keep them to bash your head against, because that’s something you will feel like doing on repeat many times a day, possibly hour, depending on the day you’re having. Oh look, I quite often paint an average picture of my life as a mum. Probably because my girls give me some good juicy topics when they are acting up. There are good times, but you can’t always write that stuff, it seems too good to be true and let’s face it, this isn’t a fairy tale!

Fairy tales are what you were imagining your parenting life was going to be like before your first child came into the world. That they would be perfect, an angel that would be extremely well behaved; would sleep well like-a-baby; eat everything you put in front of them and would forever be telling you you’re the best mum (or dad) ever. I do get some of it. I can be the best mummy ever, for about five seconds when they get what they want, the rest of the day not so much!

Is it all worth it? Hearing those words “you don’t love me mummy” rattled me a bit but deep down I know that it’s “normal”, for now anyway! Ask me again when the teenage years hit. I’ll be hiding in the corner, curled up in the foetal position. If found, bring supplies, preferable chocolate and wine, the order doesn’t matter!
Until next time…hopefully they continue to bring me some good stuff to write about, going by the last couple of days, I think we’ll be right, haha!

Talking the talk

You have to love the lies we tell ourselves about our own children. Before they’re born and you see a friend’s offspring or a kid at the shops throwing a ridiculous tantrum over nothing you say, ‘oh my child won’t do that’. After they’re born and you’re still stuck in that newborn haze, you can’t help but think ‘everything will be perfect and work in my favour, my baby is and will be nothing like those other kids’. But the truth is you really don’t know what will happen until you’re living it. Living the dream or actually realising you were acting like a completely smug you know what until reality (your children) smacks you in the face.

We have our good days and our bad. The times we’re really happy or bawling our eyes out. Life with children is no walk in the park. So why should we treat it that way?! Why should we pretend everything is perfect when in reality it isn’t? Well I think it has a lot to do with a preconceived notion that we have to show that we have a handle on everything and we can do just about anything.

Mums are pretty good at doing most things, most of the time (we like to think so or at least hope) but we really can’t have it all. I’m about as far from perfect as you can get, I’ve always been happy to admit that and I have no shame in saying that I have struggled and even now I still have extremely tough days and nights too. I yell when my girls go feral and yes, I have been known to swear (shock horror) at them as well. Every now and then I still have the thought that running away might be easier than dealing with a child whose sister has looked at them at the wrong way/taking a toy or even touched them. I think it’s safe to say I won’t be winning Mother of the Year anytime soon.

And seriously I’d still like to have words with whoever put the silly idea in Miss Izzie’s head that she can’t possibly wear anything other than dresses. Every. Single. Day. We have a drawer full of shorts and plenty of pretty shirts hanging in the cupboard, but it seems they aren’t good enough even with Elsa’s perfect blonde hair and beaming smile plastered on them. It’s an ongoing battle, one I should probably just let go of (see what I did there). Can you sense my frustration? Haha! I guess I’ve never found myself much of a girly girl. Shorts and a top are my comfort zone. So, dealing with a little princess sure can be challenging, to say the least.

I have hope. Yes, I’m hopeful that Miss Phoebe may be less of a handful. Who am I kidding? That kid is already the devil in disguise, getting her big sister into trouble or upsetting her every chance she can. It makes me laugh though because I’m pretty sure I did the same thing for my big brother. Correction I was the best little sister ever (cough cough).

At the end of the day it shouldn’t be about who has a better handle on things, who’s winning or losing in this epic battle of parenting. It’s really about surviving and showing your kids you love them even when they’re driving you up the wall. Expect the worst, hope for the best and always keep a stash of wine and chocolate somewhere handy!

Trying times

Is it bad to occasionally tell your child you don’t like them?
It’s always backed up by I love you, of course.

But lately, things have been a bit….frustrating, to say the least.

Hysterical screaming and tears are a regular occurrence in our house at the moment.
You might also know them as toddler tantrums.
Crazy meltdowns over silly things like food, clothes, daddy doing something that mummy should have or even being looked at the wrong way.

There’s no real reason for it, well one that makes sense anyway.

We can go from some semblance of a “normal” household one minute to utter chaos the next.

I’m sure our neighbours must think we’re trying to force Miss Izzie into treacherous situations of impending doom the way she carries on about eating dinner some nights.

Eat something good for her?? Surely that’s worth some backchat, arm crossing and eye rolling before unleashing a string of incoherent babble translated as “no I won’t do that mummy”?

And it should be more like “hell hath no fury like a toddler scorned”, particularly one not given the desired answer they’re looking for! They want it all and right now, but all hell breaks loose when it doesn’t happen. We’ve had a fair bit of that lately too.

I swear I’m living in a bit of a mad house, or maybe it’s just me that is going a bit mad.

I’m still trying to work out what the hell has happened to my “good” child, haha! Yes she’s the perfect “Angel”, to everyone else! I’m not stupid, I’ve been told by many parents (including my own, thanks mum and dad) that toddlers can just be like that. It’s all part of the process of growing up.

Where can I sign out and just come back for the good stuff?!

My favourite line I like to use to describe our household is “never a dull moment”.
Between Miss Izzie’s toddler tantrums, crazy fun times and of course cheekiness and then Miss Phoebe’s teething and frustration at trying to work out how to move around, mummy is going a bit bat shit crazy.

Don’t even get me started on daddy! He likes to remind me how he’s the one currently stuck in a house full of (unhappy) women! I can already picture him rolling his eyes….

One day I’ll look back on all of this and laugh, well at least I hope so. My mum is forever reminding me that it is all a small part of our lives and it will be over in the blink of an eye.

Parenting certainly is a massive guessing game and a role that keeps you on your toes. You have to take the good with the bad. There’s lots of rewarding moments too, otherwise why would we keep having kids??!

But that’s probably a story for another day….