Always asking questions

How do you know if you’re doing it right? This whole parenting thing?
Even life in general?
You don’t! You can only do your best and see what happens after that. It’s pretty much flying blind, winging it, put your beer goggles on and just go with the flow type of stuff. Maybe some structure along the way helps, but the rest of it involves guesswork, a whole lot of trying and hope. I’m always full of hope, whether I get the result I’m hoping for, that’s another story!

If you worry about whether you’re a good mum, the fact that you worry already means you are a good mum. I just wish I’d believed it enough when I really needed to. I’ve always had a lot of doubt about my skills as a mum, probably as a person too. It’s likely this won’t change in a hurry. That has a lot to do with my anxieties talking. But when I get a sweet smile, a kiss on the cheek or even little arms envelope me in a hug, my fears lessen. It’s almost like a magical button has been pushed and the world makes sense again.

My girls, although they drive me crazy, are my whole world and I do feel a bit lost when they aren’t around. They are growing up so fast and time is flying by, bringing with it even more attitude! The karma train hit me hard on that one, giving me two girls to contend with. I wasn’t really that bad, was I mum?! If the attitude is this crazy at the age of 5, I may need some serious backup by the time we hit 15! In all seriousness I know my girls are pretty good (at driving me crazy), but they are reasonably well behaved and I know I could have done far worse.

I think I’ve said it before but I still love this saying. “There is no such thing as a perfect parent”. There so isn’t! So all those people out there acting like they have it all together, just quit while you’re ahead, everyone knows you’re pretending! I often admit I still have absolutely no idea what I’m doing. That doesn’t make me a bad Mum, but I’m far from perfect. Like every other parent out there, I just want what’s best for my girls. I just don’t necessarily always know how to get it. Other than doing my best and that’s all anyone can ask for.

Kids are funny creatures. They know more and perceive more than we realise, especially if they can work it to their advantage. They don’t care about a lot of things, especially all the material stuff. But they care enough to just want you there, to have the person they treasure the most. It’s not always easy to be in the moment when they need you to be and it’s hard not to feel guilty afterwards. But remembering you are only human can go a long way to making you feel better, well hopefully it does. I don’t have all the answers but I keep trying to do my best (at failing, haha!).

Ups and downs

Every day with kids is a roller coaster. One minute you’re up, the next going down and let’s not forget always having to be prepared for the unexpected twists and turns.

Like now, I feel like a walking zombie again thanks to the joys of teething and the oh so fun tantrums….from not just one but both girls!

But it’s hard to imagine life any other way once you have kids. They do take up a lot of your time, day and night and everything in between!

I will admit though it’s still fun watching them grow, develop their own personality and take on the world.

It’s just a shame they feel taking on the world involves wiping me out in the process!

Each day often brings with it new challenges, new discoveries and a whole lot of questions.

Why really can be a horrible word, especially when your patience is wearing out.
Some days I’m prepared with answers, even if they don’t make sense to me, Miss Izzie seems happy enough.
And other days Mummy just spends her time losing her marbles. If you find them somewhere I’d love them back, haha!

I love her curiosity more than anything because I think it reminds me of what I was like and to an extent what I’m still like now. Always asking questions, wanting to find out as much as I can about what’s happening in the world.

Kids are always learning from us, even if it’s not always necessarily good things (haha).

Sometimes I think it can be a bad thing that my girls carry many of my traits but then I realize it has potential to be a good thing too. The bad temper maybe not so much.

As for Miss Phoebe, watching her come into her own and stand her ground more and more with her big sister can be both hilarious and exasperating at the same time. I’m already having visions of hair pulling in the not too distance future. And the thought of fights over clothes and shoes is another level altogether.
But at least they’re still up for the cute kisses and cuddles at bedtime. Awwwww!

I don’t know where I would be without them….okay maybe I could think of a few places….just kidding.

But like most parents, I hope that despite everything they go through that they grow up to be the best they can be, achieve everything they want and do what makes them happy without ever thinking they didn’t give it their best shot so long as they tried and gave it their all.

Sometimes I wonder if the same could be said for other things in life but that as always is another story…

I’m off on another fun roller coaster ride, it’s like they know the minute you sit down, they always know (haha!).