When did being a mum become so much more than what it is or rather what it should be? Why is it still such an issue over whether women return to work or not once they have kids? What is wrong with a woman staying at home to be with her children rather than working? Why is it seen as an issue if a woman returns to work after having children, like she can’t be at home?
And why oh why do we have the massive competition over who has it the hardest – a mother who is it at home all day and night with her kids or the mother who goes to work during the day and is home all night or even those who work all night and who are home all day?
And then it gets even harder if you are in the crappy position of being a single mum. Those who have full time care and don’t get a break at all or those who have shared care and get the time to themselves. Let me tell you now, it’s no fun sharing your children. Yes there’s a “break” involved but the pain you feel in missing out on time in your small child’s life is no fun at all.
Ladies, no one wins and they shouldn’t because there is no competition. Motherhood is a massive challenge. Yes, it is one most of us take on by choice, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t hard or full on! Raising children is no easy feat! So, why are we so busy tearing each other down all the time? Why is there this idea that there should be a “perfect mother”? Why does it have to be worse or better or a big deal made over who has it worse or better?? Society and the community we live in, certainly have a lot to answer for and in a way so do we all individually, but the perception needs to change or mothers are going to be worried about more than they really need to be!
I’m not a perfect. I go through ups and downs, questioning my role as a mother all the time. I’m scared I’m ruining my daughter’s lives because of so many stupid things. I worry that I’m not a good mum, that one day they may hate me – probably when they’re teenagers, so it’ll be normal anyway – or just that everything I do for them will make their lives worse. I’ve been told that because I worry about whether I am a good Mum, already makes me one, but the worry and fear never goes away! I’ll forever doubt myself and my abilities but I know I can count on the unconditional love my girls appear to have for me! Awwwww…come back to me when they hit the teenage years, haha!
You never stop being a mum, even when they aren’t around you. It’s a part of who you are. It isn’t necessarily the full story of you and your life but the little monsters in your life certainly help shape you into being the person that you are. And all we can hope for at the end of the day/week/century even, is that the tiny little humans we started with get dished up some karma when they have kids of their own (nah just kidding, haha!). What I really hope for is that my beautiful girls go out into the big wide world and leave the biggest mark they can, in a good way of course!
Until that happens, you’ll find me trying not to compete in this ever changing challenging role and world of motherhood and likely failing miserably, haha!